Scribbles

I was doodling around on my sketchbook since I didn't feel like doing any serious work tonight. We had our tri-school games, and this time we won in our basketball game against UNC...still lost to NCState though. They are just a better team. Unfortunately I couldn't find anyone to celebrate with, even for dinner. So I just had Burger King hah.

I kind of let my hand wander and just scribbled. Somehow I was intrigued by the seemingly orderly disorder that flowed. There is some beauty in randomness (at least I don't find what I drew to be extremely ugly, others may of course think otherwise). It's interesting since we are likely the result of random quantum fluctuations, dragged out billions of years. The universe probably began as just randomness in nothingness. It's like getting something of worth from nothing in particular. I guess that may be what we call luck.

I certainly need a little luck now. I'm getting nervous about my prelims, another sample just came out useless, and I wish I had more of a life. I'm glad I'm naturally an optimist. I look to the better, hoping that in the end the result is something I can be content and happy with. But the journey, with each of its failures, can be painful. It's lonesome and really strikes at confidence in the self. Nonetheless, I believe everything happens for a reason, and I must learn from it, in lab and life.

I think a big part of it's redefining what makes you happy. I envy those who easily brush aside their worries and such, however, big.

Why let things bother you?
Cause it hurts.
Learn to not care so much?
But I've put so much effort and heart into it. Are you telling me not to give it my all, 110% everytime, especially when it's something I care about?
Of course not. Just realize that from the big picture, you're just a scribble. But also remind yourself, that a scribble can be beautiful.