I'm headed for Taiwan in a couple days. I'll get to be with family and great Taiwanese food. I think I really need to leave Durham for some time, to get away from the place and reflect on some things. This past week has certainly been a hell of a roller coaster ride from an emotional stand point, and in many ways I have only myself to blame. I kind of went from pretty good to hell in another's eyes in a couple days. I think my caring too much for one person in particular caused me to skew my rational thinking. Jealousy and inability to fully trust is something else in play here. I can't fault myself for loving someone. But I shouldn't behave so overbearing or second guessing other's intentions to the point that I push away the very person I feel so much for. It's so complicated, and I'm definitely still a novice when it comes to controlling your feelings. I don't do that very well, and I'm suffering the consequences of my actions. That's not to say there wasn't a reason for all this, and certainly there was something that made me unhappy. But I think I kind of thought too much of something that might be nothing.
What should I do? I think the answer is in the title.
*Note: I posted this and took it off for a while, hesitating whether I should post. But since those who read this blog know me personally, I think it's ok. Life is learning, and hopefully your experience and insight will help make me a wiser and better person.
What should I do? I think the answer is in the title.
*Note: I posted this and took it off for a while, hesitating whether I should post. But since those who read this blog know me personally, I think it's ok. Life is learning, and hopefully your experience and insight will help make me a wiser and better person.
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